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The Mole in München

Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren

The Mole in München reporting in to Mothership Oz. I met some of you at the Oran Park track day, so some of you may know I've moved to work in Germany for one year.

butcher.jpg (48195 bytes)Well I've been here four weeks now and I've only seen one shark on the road (well beside it actually). And look what they've gone and done to it!  Given the topical nature of skirts and bodykits at the moment I thought it appropriate to send this particular pic on. It looked quite professionally done however there were far too many additional holes in the shark for my liking. Perhaps a suitable caption would be "Cruelty to Animals".

The cheapest 928 for sale I've seen over here has been a 1980 928 for 1950 DEM (Approx. $1700 AUD). I only saw it on the net so I've got no idea on the condition of it. I am due to pay a visit to Mecca, sorry, Stuttgart on the first weekend of August and apparently the air is rather thick with the sound of Porkers there.

typical.jpg (55104 bytes)As for the wider ownership of Porsches around Munich, well here they are like date-holes (everybody has got one), I was cycling around the city last Sunday and this shot is from just an average street. (Perhaps slightly exaggerated.)  While I took this shot another 996 zipped by. But I know we shouldn't talk about the rear end emergency types here so I'll stop now.

Auf wiedertypen,

Glen Horton Austr-Alien.

Missing his 85 928S 5 Speed (The pushbike has more gears but the engine driving it is clapped out and doesn't pull like the shark.)


The Deutsches Museum

It was a quiet and sunny Sunday in München and on this occasion I didst find myself wandering the pleasant parklands and boulevards of this most Bavarian of cities.

The summer sun sat high and proud on his heavenly throne and none clouds dared obscure his gaze. Before long a strange tiredness didst wash over me and I felt compelled to find a sheltered nook in which to surrender to sleep. A shady oak did kindly oblige and within minutes I lay sleeping, oblivious to the mundane passage of the day.

I cannot tell how long I had slept or indeed at what time I was awoken by the strange noises and beautiful voices. A bizarre mix of chattering beasts in opposition to heavenly choirs that seemed ever at the edge of one's perception, beckoning one on to some new and divine distraction. Opening mine eyes to find the source of these sounds a new surprise overwhelmed me. No longer was I sheltered under the eaves of the gentle oak, rather I found myself in mighty halls of impossible construction. Fantastic spaces bound by marbled walls and lofty ceilings all of exquisite craftsmanship and intricate detail. And all the while the choirs urged me onwards, ever onwards.

However fantastical this architecture all seemed, it became as a simple mud hut in comparison to the wonders that did line its passages and rooms. Stretching to the limit of of one's view lay all manner of machina and artefacts whose origins lay beyond the pale of mortal imagining. Devices of unknowable purpose and unearthly construction, the full spectrum from beautiful tools harbouring the spark of creation to nefarious engines born from the dark intent of the malignant. A human lifetime could be spent trying to comprehend the least of these but any hope of more than a passing understanding was dashed by the compulsion of the choirs, drawing me onwards, ever onwards and the feral squall of animal jaws pushing at mine back.

As a leaf caught up in some other-worldly cataract, the fluid sounds propelled me via eddies and vortices over and through the wonderment of mechanical rocks. All inured to my fleeting passage and only offering a turbulent glimpse of their hidden purpose forged in the fell fires beyond the mundane ken.

Dizzy with bewilderment and with hopeless abandonment to the forces propelling me I finally fell into a vast hall, dark and quiet. The angels and animals were silent. A silence heavy and pregnant. Devoid of light and sound other than the beating of what I hoped was mine own heart.

An eternity seemed to pass before I saw the first dim rays of what was to become a blinding light. A single dim point gestating for a moment before exploding and surpassing mine earthly eyes. Turning mine head in fear and casting mine gaze away I tried to block this piercing light with hands and eyelid to little effect. Quailing in this pure and crystal illumination I didst doubt mine own resolve and the value of mine worth. Thus bathed in this holy light I was transfixed by my darkest moment. All seemed lost and hope had deserted me.

And hopeless I was until the voice came and shook me from my fear. The voice - founded in the crashing of waves and the slow grind of glacia, reverberating with the fundamental frequencies of all creation. And the voice didst say: "..Look now little one, look now at the wonderment of creation. Here before thee lies the heart, all that is central and all that propels thee to greater heights. Indeed depending on the measure of control thou shalt apply, the heart will whisk you to speeds beyond the capacity of your fragile mortal coil and allow one to travel a quarter of a human mile from rest in less than fourteen earthly seconds. Behold the Heart!.."

Suddenly mine eyes didst adjust to the heavenly light and I didst behold it. The image is forever burnt upon mine eternal soul and mine clumsy, stumbling words cannot describe what I didst see. For thee I have prepared mine best approximation to that which I didst see. I entreat thee, behold "It.jpg"!

This spectacle lay before me for the briefest of moments ere I collapsed, inadequate and ill-equipped, the rubble of humanity. And all seemed lost. And once again I didst lay in the grip of torpor until I was awoken under the oak by the friendly boot of the Deutsche Polizei as it was gently introduced to mine ribs. "...Raus Sie! Betrunken Arschloch! Oktoberfest ist nachste Monat. Los los los!..."

Shocked back into the normal world I quickly gathered my thoughts and was on my way once more, however I will always carry memories of the vision with me.

Excerpt from "The Automotive Comedy - Part 1: Inferno" by Dante Bevaniri

928It.jpg (53761 bytes)OK, well I could have just said "..I went to the Deutsches Museum and gee it was great they had a 928 engine on a pedestal.." but I thought perhaps the above might have been a little more interesting.


I will not take all the blame for the previous ramblings, some degree of responsibility has to be taken by the good brewers of München and their ever tempting brew. Let this be a lesson on the dangers of mixing alcohol with e-mailing. Don't drink and type. (also, given the recent concerns about poetry on the list, well I hope you all now appreciate the dread terror of bad prose too. ;^9 )

The Deutsches museum is the world's largest museum dedicated purely to technology and science (in that order too) and as such is a rather special place (especially for a mechanical engineer). It is just full of "stuff". Should you ever find yourself in München, do yourself a favour and visit this place. The presence of the engine can also pose two appreciations: "technological marvel" or "museum piece".

928pcard.jpg (54149 bytes)It has also got a really cool gift shop with all manner of nerdly treats. After searching for a while I did manage to find this postcard from a talented lens master by the name of Rene Staud. A clever illustration of the evolution of Pork from Australopithecus through Neanderthal and then Cro Magnon until finally we have Homo Sapiens Sapiens. (Unfortunately a comet wiped out Homo Sapiens Sapiens as a viable species and left the world to be populated by the mutant offspring of Neanderthals though some Sapiens Sapiens are preserved by certain individuals.)

ss911.jpg (54115 bytes)And the Deutsches Museum posed one last question, how would Sir prefer his 911? Painted or stainless? Apparently Porsche were evaluating the possibilities of using stainless steel panels in the 70s and it got as far as a prototype example.


Well that's about all my guff exhausted for now, I hope the latest Frenzy was a blast and that everybody's shark makes it back happy and well.

Aufweidertypen, Glen H.  (2000 White Guppy 21 speed)